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Is this a good plot idea?

Hmichelle

Villager
Xy$
0.00
My draft for the plot is that the Main character (Yukino) is betrayed by her best friend whom ((plot twist)) is the villain and tries to kill her but fails so opts to erase her memory. But the only thing she remembers saying after waking up is "...You traitor" and then realizes is in an old cabin near by the place she almost got killed (Which i have a temporary name its The Crevice of the Night for now if I dont decide to leave it like that). After that she travels to the main land which is in the brink of a great war all thanks to the villain (his name is Ray) and thanks to that the land is divided by humans and non humans (elves, orcs,etc.) and her only hope to saving the world and her memory is to find the 4 deities of the elements to help her recover fragments of her memory and to defeat Ray. Ok thats all I suck at writing but this is just the initial draft since I havent focused on the story only on the map and such, but yeah let me know what you guys think!
 

Xilefian

Adventurer
Xy$
0.00
I was writing about this kind of plot on another game development forum a couple days ago.

In games, you don't want to surprise the player at all. As soon as they get through the opening of your game, they will have set ideas of what type of game they are in, so if you suddenly change that later on it will betray the idea of what kind of game the player believed they were playing.

If your game opens up with 1 character alone and starting a small journey, introducing a large war that's happening later on is going to change the focus and go against the initial thoughts the player had to what kind of game they are playing. You either want to open the story focusing on the big situation with small characters, or you want to focus on the characters and what immediately affects them, you don't want to switch half-way through.

If I open up with a character who has amnesia and the only memory were the last few words said, and they are alone in a cabin, then I will presume the game is about exploring and retrieving memory. I will not expect the game to suddenly tell me that the world is on the brink of a large war and that my character is no longer important because there's about to be a great war. The focus should still be on my character, I don't care if there's political tension or an uprising that's happening - I care only about my character and getting their memory back.

Conversely, if the game opens up talking about great battles between mythical races and shows me large armies and towns being burned, then when I first see my character I will expect them to be already caught up in this larger picture and I will presume that the game is all about this great war. If the game tells me about a great war and political tension and darkness on the horizon, then I will be negatively surprised if I am then given control of my character in the middle of a forest, far away from the war.

I'd like to know why my character is special, the main villain decided to erase my character's memories, why am I such a big threat to their plan and what is their plan? Perhaps a good idea would be to strengthen the connection with the player and the four goddesses that can restore memory. Perhaps the player is also a god and the villain is a god fallen from grace and the player is the only one with the power to stop them from destroying the world, so that's why the player's memory was erased and why its the goddesses that can help restore it.

The biggest mystery will be why did the villain fail to kill the main character. You can make up something with the god explanation prior like a god cannot kill another god, which creates an interesting problem of 'how do you defeat the villain'.


I think get rid of the "brink of war", make the focus of the problem the villain who could be on a pilgrimage of destruction, and the main character - without memories - has to follow in the villain's wake of destruction. Maybe the villain could be on a mission to kill the other goddesses, maybe the main character was the 5th goddess and the villain is just a human who got too lustful for power.
 
I really like the idea here, could I ask how long do you think a player would want to wait before knowing the truth behind the story? For example that part with having amnesia to finding out that you're in fact a god and the only one able to defeat the enemy?
Should it be early on that they realize or can it be after a long process? i.e. unknowingly collecting relics of your past and only when you have them all does your memory come back.

Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread :x
 

Hmichelle

Villager
Xy$
0.00
I really like the idea here, could I ask how long do you think a player would want to wait before knowing the truth behind the story? For example that part with having amnesia to finding out that you're in fact a god and the only one able to defeat the enemy?
Should it be early on that they realize or can it be after a long process? i.e. unknowingly collecting relics of your past and only when you have them all does your memory come back.

Sorry if I'm hijacking the thread :x
Well I'm still working on that and dont worry you are not hijacking the thread (smile)
 
I was writing about this kind of plot on another game development forum a couple days ago.
wow I also written kind of plot hole, is anyone the same?

If your game opens up with 1 character alone and starting a small journey, introducing a large war that's happening later on is going to change the focus and go against the initial thoughts the player had to what kind of game they are playing. You either want to open the story focusing on the big situation with small characters, or you want to focus on the characters and what immediately affects them, you don't want to switch half-way through.
conclusion a big war is happening and our MC is trying to find anything that ties with his past, and there is this deities that can help you with it, sound like a lot is happening here and I am so agree on this

so this is what I'm thinking
let's focus on the MC having Amnesia and put the War on the side as a base for Plot-Changes/Obstacle/Circumstances, example:
you find a lead about where your friend could be and that will trigger a lot of memories but it is a mythical being, of course the MC want to find that friend as soon as possible but this war is what trying to Stretch the distance in between.

Try to avoid or not revealing this war too much until all the MC's memories recollected, then and only then you could tie the MC with the war and I guess that Deities can fit the game as some sort of Quest Givers to trade with some of those memories

overall I like what you have done with the plot so far, love it!
 
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