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Story and Characters Ideas

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
So I have this game I am working on, Got most the characters back stories. But the storyline I don't know How to start. Anyways here is the characters :

Please ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes I may have.

Characters
Not all these characters will be added to the party, only some, the others are NPC's or temporary Members
Elise
Age: Unknown
Race: Unknown
Gender: Female
Class: Silver Blade
Description:
A mysterious woman who is immersed in our world history and plagued by the many wars our world has seen. The pendant around her neck, a reminder of the woman she used to be and the woman she now seeks. She is a descendant of the great dragon King His blood passes through her veins evoking a strong desire to protect those she meets. She is one of the strongest warriors anyone has ever known.

Zaylin
Age: 18
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Class: Healer
Description: Zaylin is a healer of his town, He is young, but very talented. He has trained from a young age to heal people so he could help his mother, but by the time he got his healing abilities his mother died

Lloyd
Age: Unknown
Race: Unknown
Gender: Male
Class: Knight
Description: Lloyd is a retired Knight of Castle Carmlodge.
(After a certain point). Many years ago, he was a Loyal knight to the King of dragons until it was destroyed, he is one of the survivors of the kingdom.

Blaine
Age: Unknown
Race: Unknown
Gender: Male
Class: Swifthand
Description: Blaine is a master thief. He steals to give to the poor.
(After a certain point). Blaine is Elise’s Childhood friend, He has been in love with her since they were teenagers, but after the dragon kingdom was destroyed, they went their own separate ways to protect each other from the humans who wish to destroy their race.


Emmot
Age: 16
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Class: Archer
Description:Emmot was bullied as a child, Her mother died during childbirth, her father was a drunk and beat her. Once she reached 16 years old She ran away and has been on the run


Madlin
Age: 15
Race: human
Gender: female
Class: Mage
Description:
Madlin, a young mage, has spent much of her life sheltered away in a quiet village in the middle of the woods. She has spent much of her life learning magic from her Aunt Lucile and wasting away her free time picking flowers and playing games.
She is an innocent, some would say naïve, girl with great potential but lacking in any wish to achieve that potential.

Flynn
Age: 22
Race: Human
Gender: male
Class: Soldier
Description: Flynn is an army Veteran, he joined at 16. He was there at the battle of Eveles, he saw what had happened, after that day, he left the army. the army, he had joined sent mercenaries after him so he has been running from them.

Rhexx
Age: 38
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Description: Rhexx is Farrell’s loyal Knight, he was in the kingdom of Eveles
when it fell, he protected Kiya, even took an arrow to the chest, But survived and was able to bring her to safety. He protects Farrell and his family with all his heart. He protected Farrell’s father and now protects Farrell and his very pregnant Queen..

Desmon
Age: Unknown
Race: Unknown
Gender: Male
Class: Dragon Knight
Description: No one knows who the Desmon is, all they know is that he is a mercenary for hire. (After a certain point) Desmon was one of Elise’s Royal Knights, he protected her from any danger, but he got separated from her when the dragon kingdom got destroyed.


Queen Kiya
Age: 25
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Description:
Kiya and her Brother Kyle was born into the Eveles Kingdom, their parents were the rulers of that Kingdom. As the king and queen of Eveles were killed, Kiya was still sleeping in her bed as it all had happened, Farrell’s Royal Guard was visiting the Kingdom as it was happening, He saved her and had Kiya stayed in Farrell’s kingdom. She eventually Married King Farrell and have started a family with him.
Kiya is the leader of the Royal Lions group, a group of people who helps to help to rid of monsters.

(I want to also make a scene about Queen Kiya's past of how to escaped from her kingdom to Kasite Kingdom)

King Farrell
Age: 27
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Description: Farrell is the King of Kasite Kingdom, Farrell and Kiya’s family had promised they would marry once they was old enough, but by the that time, Kiya’s family was killed, Before the massacre happened Farrell ordered his loyal Knights to look after her and make sure nothing happened to her, and if it did to bring her to the castle. Which he had. Because of what Farrell had done for her, she grew to love him and eventually Kiya and Farrell had the wedding they dreamt of, and they have two beautiful children and another on the way.

Kyle
Age:28
Race: Human
Gender: male
Description: The older brother of Kiya, during the massacre Kyle was out hunting with his friends. When he had returned his whole kingdom was in ashes, he did the only thing he could and go to the city where his family said ‘if there is any trouble head to the kingdom of Kasite’ They were the allies of his family. Which he had, He had trained with Farrell’s loyal guards. Eventually, after Kiya’s and Farrell’s wedding he helped put together the Royal lions organisation and became 2nd lieutenant.

Adan
Age: 26
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Description: Adan is Farrell’s childhood friend, he vowed to protect Farrell and his family once he had received his Knighthood. He became Kiya’s bodyguard as that is what his friend Adan asked of him.

King Of Dragons
Age: ???
Race: Dragon
Gender: Male
Description: He is a king of a the dragon kingdom that was destroyed many years ago. His Daughter and son and a few other dragon children were sent to another dimension for safety before the attack on the planet. He Destroyed the planet himself to stop his enemies from gaining the resources they needed to build their weapons, and to not let them take his people as prisoners. He cares more about his people and children more than his life.


Other characters

Xander :
Age: 35
Race: Human
Gender: male
Description:
Xander is a mage and is the leader of the Liberation Squad. he has been at war with the reapers Squad for many years, they want mages controlled and locked away.
He used to be good friends with Kiya, but their friendship grew apart when Xander became leader of the Liberation Squad.

Aliyah
Age: 33
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Description:
Aliyah was the leader of the army that Destroyed Eveles Kingdom, She rebuilt and renamed it to The Evils Kingdom and now sits on the newly built throne. She and the rest of her army are readying themselves to the attack Kasite Kingdom. She has no remorse, and no feelings towards others, she gets what she wants when she wants it. she thinks she is the one true ruler and anyone who stands in her way is unworthy and she Eliminates them.
She wants Kiya's family to suffer and to take as much away from her as she can possibly can


Zelroth:
Age: ???
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Description: Zelroth is the man behind the attack on the dragon kingdom, he somehow survived the blast and is back on earth Planning many evil deeds. After the attack on the dragon kingdom, he got some cyborg implants to replace some parts of his broken body, due to his cyborg implants, no one knows his exact age. The implants somehow slowed his aging process

Storyline
Dragons are able to transform into humans at will, in order to hide their identity, the humans haven't found out about this magical ability yet.

for the story all I have got is :
One day the humans decided they wanted to take over the dragon kingdom, to use for their resources, But the dragons won't give it willingly, so they took it by force, a specially trained hunter take down dragons. They hunted every one of them and killed them. The king of the dragons, Took his child and other dragon children Put a spell on them, the dragon form would hide in its human form. He Sent the child to another dimension. The dragons were annihilated that day.

Two thousand Years later.

it has been many years since the children was sent to the other dimension. A young girl, who has a talent for getting rid of monsters, is tracking one she has been chasing for months, into a temple. When she enters into the depths of the temple, she encounters a shrine, with a crystal, she feels drawn to it, as she touches it, she unlocks some hidden powers, a ghost of a dragon appears and tells her to find all the crystals to unlock her full potential and to save her dying kingdom. There is a total of 6 equipment to get. After receiving the final equipment, she regains her memories, and she also turns into a dragon, leaves her companions and attacks a Village which a Hunter was visiting, he Attacks her and shoots a bolt and it fatally injures her. She flies towards the mountain she untransforms and blacks out. One of her friends from her own kingdom was there, and he gives her shelter and takes care of her.

Her companions follow her towards the mountain, the friend then tells them she is safe, tells them what she is, they understood fully, (Whoever has the most affection, sits by her bed, Holds her hand). tells her how much she means to them, and that they love her.
 
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Cunechan

∠( ᐛ 」∠)_
Hey that's a cool story and a lot of characters you have there :D you basically already have a beginning, don't you?( as far as i understood) If you need help with the continuation feel free to ask I can help you ;) or we can all help you, I guess ^^
 

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
well yes i have introduction, i need help continuing it :P any help is greatly appreciated :). I also want the player to have to meet the king and queen because i have a scene i want to play out as well (it wouldnt let me fit it in the top post) but i can post here :

Scene **


Kasite Kingdom was in ruins, There were bodies everywhere, King Farrell was the only one left of his kingdom. He saw a body slowly crawling, a soldier was after her, she was holding a cape over her torso. “No!!”
Farrell went after the soldier and killed him. He looked down at the body and knelt down beside her, his eyes filled with tears “Love.... What happened”

He relaxed now that he was here. “Aliyah.... She attacked... I couldn't stop her... I’m so sorry”
Tears fell from her eyes “She killed them.... My babies, Darling.... I couldn't do anything, she slaughtered them all”
She opened her cape “I could only save him....”

He held onto his son, she grabbed Farrell’s collar and whispered into his ear “Kill them all, do whatever it takes, Avenge our family”
He nodded “I will do whatever it takes”
“Darling, I do...I l love you with all my heart.... Allow me one last thing”
“Anything”
She pointed to her lips “Give me one last kiss”

His eyes welled up with tears, he placed his lips onto hers and gave her the strongest kiss, he could manage, she had stopped moving, tear dropped from her eyes.
Before he got up, he closed her eyes.


Scene **

They stood over the graves of the royal family
“What you are going to do now, King Farrell”
He turned toward them, Baby in his arms, “I am going to fulfill my Wife’s final wish, And avenge her family”
“What happened to her family”
“Before we met, She was born into the noble family of Eveles Kingdom, her family and mine promised us we would Wed, It was our destiny, But before we could actually meet face to face, Her family was massacred”

He closed his eyes and reopened them
“She was asleep when her parents were murdered, Before hand I had sent one of my best men to protect her In case anything happened, I had this terrible feeling in my gut and I knew I had to do something”.

“He awoke her from her sleep, and that's when he took an arrow to the chest, But he was strong, He didn’t care, he cut down the men like butter, escaped with her on the horse and came here. From that day forward, I promised I would protect her, We had finally met, but under different Circumstances, But we eventually fell in love.... That Bitch stole my wife and children from me, and I Promised my wife I will avenge her at all costs!!!”


Elise spoke “If you would allow it, Allow me to help you in that quest, Queen Kira, she was a wonderful person, and has a good heart, she saved your son with her last breath. Please let me help you on your quest.
King Farrell nodded “Sure, But.... I still haven't told her brother or her friend Adan, They will be devastated, We cannot tell them until I granted her this wish. She sent them on a boat to another land on a quest, they won’t return for a while”
She nodded “Sure, I won’t rest until This Aliyah is dead”.
 
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LTN Games

Master Mind
Resource Team
Xy$
0.01
it has been many years since the dragons was Killed of their planet. A young girl, who has a talent for getting rid of monsters, is tracking one she has been chasing for months, into a temple. When she enters into the dephs of the temple, she encounters a shrine, with a crystal, she feels drawn to it, as she touches it, she unlocks some hidden powers, a ghost of a dragon appears and tells her to find all the crystals to unlock her full potential and to save her dying planet. There is a total of 6 equipment to get. After recieving the final equipment, her she regains her memories, and also she turns into a dragon, leaves her companions and attacks a Village which a Hunter was visiting, he Attacks her and shoots a bolt and it fatally injures her. She flies towards the mountain she untransforms and blacks out. One of her friends from her own planet was there, and he gives her shelter and takes care of her.

Her companions follows her towards the mountain, the friend then tells them she is safe, tells them what she is, they understood fully, (Whoever has the most affection, sits by her bed, Holds her hand). tells her how much she means to them, and that they love her.
^^ This is how the game should start, below is my continuation.

The young girl, must get ready for what is to come, after the attack in the village she now has enemies who knows of her general location. She must travel further up the mountain to find an entrance to the cave system within the mountain, her companions stay behind to stop the enemies from following along, the one who has the most affection tags along with her on her journey. They find a way out of the cave, to the other side of the mountain, or is it? This place is unknown to the young girl and her companions, trees are larger, the sun is brighter, it's a hidden land for the dragon breed, a place where they have been in hiding for thousands of years, there are children and elders, large towers and buildings filled with books of dragon’s history, lore and fairytales. She continues to explore only to be greeted with a young dragon child, who asks her to come and play. They follow the young girl to the inner workings of the land to a small village where she is further introduced to the fellow dragon friends, an old man comes outside, looks at her and makes it clear that this land is not for outside travelers and they should leave immediately, but then the old man noticed a mark on her hand, he has seen this before, he yells at her to stop, don’t leave, come closer to me, he asks about the mark, and she says she has had it ever since she was a child............

Then this is when you explain about dragons and thier worlds, and lore etc etc

Two worlds, one world where dragons once roamed, another where humans, elves and other man kind creatures are born. Once day the humans decided they wanted to take over the dragon planet, to use for their resources, But the dragons won't give it willingly, so they took it by force, a specially trained hunters to take down dragons. They hunted every one of them and killed them all. The king of the dragons, Took his child and Put a spell on her, the dragon form would hide in its human form. He Sent the child to earth with no memory from her life. The dragons was annhiated that day.
 

PixelMister

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
I do suggest you try and make your characters sound, more intriguing.
Take your 'Elise' character. You currently have the description as so;

Descendant of Dragon King. No one knows much about her except she is a great warrior with hidden potential, She is very quiet and keeps to herself. She has no

memories of her past, Except for a pendant she wears around her neck, which she never removes. She looks very young for her age, but she has been around far longer than

anyone knows, due to her intelligent speech and knowing the history of many parts of the world.
It would sound a bit better as;
A mysterious woman who is immersed in our worlds history and plagued by the many wars our world has seen. The pendant around her neck, a reminder of the woman she used to be and the woman she now seeks. Unbeknownst to her, she is a descendant of the great Dragon King. His blood passes through her veins, evoking a strong desire to protect those she meets. A great warrior, with a forgotten past.

Just try and spruce things up a bit; the information you have provided on the characters so far is good :)
 

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
I do suggest you try and make your characters sound, more intriguing.
Take your 'Elise' character. You currently have the description as so;



It would sound a bit better as;
A mysterious woman who is immersed in our worlds history and plagued by the many wars our world has seen. The pendant around her neck, a reminder of the woman she used to be and the woman she now seeks. Unbeknownst to her, she is a descendant of the great Dragon King. His blood passes through her veins, evoking a strong desire to protect those she meets. A great warrior, with a forgotten past.

Just try and spruce things up a bit; the information you have provided on the characters so far is good :)
omg thanks, Updated it :P thanks a bunch
 

pyn

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
I like the general idea. My main question is: is the quest for the six pieces of equipment going to be the main focus of the game, or will it be taking place before the game? Or will it be, like, the first half? The initial post is a bit unclear on that. It definitely seems to be the main focus of the quest, at least to start, considering the rest of the characters join you. But then how does it tie into the rest of the story? And how do the stories of the two different worlds tie together?

Also I'd suggest spicing up Aliyah's character a bit. Her being a remorseless killer is fine, but players would definitely appreciate a bit more motivation behind her actions. Does she think that those she kills are impure and that she needs to purify the world? Does she think she has been given a mission from on high?

Like I said, it's a pretty solid start. :) I'm sorry I can't be of more help right now, but I hope my questions are decent starting points for moving forward.
 

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
the six pieces of equipment are the main focus for the first part, the main character has to gather these equipment, and each piece location has a crystal that recovers a small portion of her memory, and once she has gathered them all she gets her memory back, which gives her a new objective to save her home planet.

Aliyah character, I am still unsure what i want to do with her, I wanted her to be the evil queen who destroyed Kiya's Family and home. But other than that I am unsure. Maybe she does it as she thinks she is the one true ruler and anyone who stands in her path is unworthy and she needs to eliminate them.

Thanks for the input :)
 

punchybot

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
I like it, I'm just not so sure about the two different planets. Does the plot warrant an entirely different planet? If so, will there be travel between the two planets? Will it fit within the overall plot of the game? Will much change if you changed it to a continent on the other side of the planet they currently reside in?

I'm only saying because planetary travel tends to be sci-fi kind of thing. Not saying you can't pull it off, it just jars for me. It's honestly not that important, but I figured I would speak my mind! :P
 

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
hm i wanted it to be another planet, but Maybe it should just be on a continent, as i dont think i can pull of planetary travel like in ff4 or any other games like that. XD I was gonna do where ur airship is a Dragon Transformation, But I can't get it to work how i want it to.
 

pyn

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
What if, instead of another planet, it was another dimension? Like, something that could be traveled to via magical gate? That way, the world of the dragons remains otherworldly, but it gets around the need for space travel.
 

Rise Evil

Praised Adventurer
Xy$
0.00
Loving the **** out fo it! Looking foward to it when the game will be completed. Great plot and excellent description of your characters. You put a lot of thoughts in it. ^^
 

LTN Games

Master Mind
Resource Team
Xy$
0.01
What if, instead of another planet, it was another dimension? Like, something that could be traveled to via magical gate? That way, the world of the dragons remains otherworldly, but it gets around the need for space travel.
That idea goes perfect with the piece of story I suggested. I am really excited to see how this all plays out, Chibi you better give us preview within 1 week heheheh.
 

Chibae

Ashelia B'nargin Dalmasca
That idea goes perfect with the piece of story I suggested. I am really excited to see how this all plays out, Chibi you better give us preview within 1 week heheheh.
but i want to use this in MV and i cant get MV till closer to christmas or Christmas XD But i suppose i can use in VXACE then convert it if it comes with a converter
 

punchybot

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
Well, it's honestly not that far away. Just flesh out the story, make maps, etc... then when you get the game all you have to do is build it.
 
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