Past Futures - Plot Feedback Wanted

[Arythorn]

(This is the Product of Feedback from my OLD Plot Idea for "Galvora's Daughter")

This post may be long, but it should, hopefully, have enough detail for readers to get the idea of where I am going with this one... I hope you enjoy.

Spoiler: Game Information - Name, Genre, Length, etc

Name - Past Futures
Genre - Sci Fi/Modern AND Medieval (see plot for why and how)
Length of Gameplay - Aiming for a good few hours, at least one.
Character Customization Options - Gender and Name (Both Main Characters - See Plot)

Spoiler: Plot

Note - This game almost has two plots combined into one via player/character interaction.
Future Past Both General

You receive a letter, a letter that will change everything... An invitation to a Laboratory... To take Part in an experiment...

You are called upon by your Elder, he says he needs some help with a little experiment on improving crop growing speeds by fast forwarding their local time...

Somethings Goes wrong... You are Swapped...

You find yourself trapped in the Past...

You find yourself Lost in the complex time of the Future...

Neither of you know what you are doing...
Nor how you'll get back...

But EVERY thing they do form then, will change the course of both the Future... and the Past...
Nothing will ever be the same again...

I tried not to reveal too much plot, but if you like the Idea, please provide Constructive Criticism.

Spoiler

(Psstt... Galvora will still be waiting :D)

 

[Phil]

(This is the Product of Feedback from my OLD Plot Idea for "Galvora's Daughter")

This post may be long, but it should, hopefully, have enough detail for readers to get the idea of where I am going with this one... I hope you enjoy.

Spoiler: Game Information - Name, Genre, Length, etc

Name - Past Futures
Genre - Sci Fi/Modern AND Medieval (see plot for why and how)
Length of Gameplay - Aiming for a good few hours, at least one.
Character Customization Options - Gender and Name (Both Main Characters - See Plot)

Spoiler: Plot

Note - This game almost has two plots combined into one via player/character interaction.
Future Past Both General

You receive a letter, a letter that will change everything... An invitation to a Laboratory... To take Part in an experiment...

You are called upon by your Elder, he says he needs some help with a little experiment on improving crop growing speeds by fast forwarding their local time...

Somethings Goes wrong... You are Swapped...

You find yourself trapped in the Past...

You find yourself Lost in the complex time of the Future...

Neither of you know what you are doing...
Nor how you'll get back...

But EVERY thing they do form then, will change the course of both the Future... and the Past...
Nothing will ever be the same again...

I tried not to reveal too much plot, but if you like the Idea, please provide Constructive Criticism.

Spoiler

(Psstt... Galvora will still be waiting :D)

Phew, I need some drinks after some intense story.
10/10 would read again.
Again, I like the concept of modern settings.
You improved the concept a lot, making it alot more deep, unique
and stand out! I like that you're now more detailed in the storytelling,
and the fact you end the story in cliffhanger ;-; ... I wanna read more!

And #GalvoraForPresident

 

[Dad3353]

I'm sure that I read this last week..? Or was it next week..? Darn it; now I am confused..!

S'going to be good seeing this 'flesh out'. Should be ready just in time for Christmas, 1952.

 

[Jiriki9]

Well, this looks VERY interesting - I have to confess though that by the basic description/s I see NO connection to the plot you described before. ;)
However, as I said, interesting plot. I expect some twists coming there!

 

[Arythorn]

Well, this looks VERY interesting - I have to confess though that by the basic description/s I see NO connection to the plot you described before. ;)
However, as I said, interesting plot. I expect some twists coming there!

Ha Ha, i agree. I kind of just took the feedback and made an entire different plot line... But hey! It worked and the feedback is much better! Also double the work but I'm up for a task. So now I have to juggle this AND Homework! And Homework was hard enough! Oh well, making the most of my summer break, I go back in a few weeks so I'm going to get a good start before then so It will be easier!