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Like my story?

PikaPikaGamer

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
You're riding a train to a new town it's pretty quiet there, not a whole lot of people anymore after the silicon war. But since my father is forcing me to move out to become a farmer it's not like I have much choice after the argument's of "I Wanna Go To The City!" And "No You Can't Becuase I Want MONEY!!!" *grumble grumble grumble* My father lived it a small city not too far from here were I Really Wanted To Move To A bigger city Not knowing wich one to choose from and asking my father's advice put my here on this small stupid train...eh...I Look Around Not Alot Of People On The Train, In fact, No one was on the cart I was on At all, all I See Is A Couple Farmers A Mother And Her Children On The Other Carts Along With Some Servents Incase Of Emergency Or For Feeding Needs...I Turn around to see a woman staring out the window she looks sad but relaxed at the same time as the rain falls down the windows That's When She Catches My Eye Look's At Me Smiles And Turns Back To The Window But Still Looking Upset So I Thought To Myself *Maybe She Wants Some Company* I walk over to a seat next to her but before I can say a word the cart door behind me shut's "She Probably Left" But before I can run after her the train stop's dead "AHHHH" I Fall Onto The Floor And Then The Microphone Turns On "We Apologize Sudden Errors In The Train Occurred Will Be On Are Way Shortly
 

Jiriki9

Towns Guard
Xy$
0.00
Well, it's not telling much. Also, at points it is kind of hard to understand what you want to say, at least to me. More punctuation marks would make it better readable. As would staying with either "you" or "I".
For what is revealed, well it is a little intriguing. What I like is that the backstory is woven into personal thoughts and situation. Need more infos to truly say anything 'bout it, though.
 
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