Game Plot - Need feedback and suggestions

[GYIYGABITE]

Greetings everyone RPG Makers!

EDIT: Thank you so much for your feedback. I made some tweaks and adjustments. So here is the revised story, along with the possible title.

Here, I bring you the story plot of my game. For now, the title of my game is called:

Soulprism

The game title is NOT official. I may keep it or not. You are welcome to offer suggestions.

So, on to the story plot:

Arcane and divine. Two different source of powers that exist in Sulerra. The power to manipulate the elements and arcanic energy, arcane. In it's opposite, the power to heal and protect, divine. Those who are born with the use of arcane are called carmeans. Those with divine powers are called caelibris.


The Caelibri Purge was a campaign led by the cult SCALES in 162 AE (After Exile), one hundred and sixty-two years after the Exiles left the planet Sulerra. SCALES' belief was that caelibris had the power to preserve and maintain life, believing to disrupt the order of life and death. Although there were no proof, SCALES were convinced it was a matter of time before the caelibris discovered the secret to immortality.


For five years, SCALES went on a persecution campaign to find and eliminate every caelibris, killing indiscriminately. All seemed lost as the caelibris population dwindled every day.


However, their persecution campaign suddenly ended and they went into hiding. It is unclear why they stopped their campaign, despite possessing so much power and influence in the end.


In the aftermath, bounties have been placed on SCALES loyalists especially their leader, Ryfar Odom. Most of the caelibris that survived, promised to never use their divine power fearing SCALES would surface and finish their mission. Mayor cities have also offered caelibris for refuge and protection but the mayority of them are too afraid to reveal themselves.


It is now 167 AE; five years after Caelibri Purge ended. The scars of war are still fresh. Yet, there is more to this war then people are aware...

As always, your feedback is much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

 

[Lord Zezrel]

honestly i like it, it sounds like an intro to a "tales of" game. is the war still going on? im interested to see where it goes

 

[GYIYGABITE]

honestly i like it, it sounds like an intro to a "tales of" game. is the war still going on? im interested to see where it goes

Yes, the war has ended and many people are recovering from it, even if they were not directly involved. You are right about the "tales of" part. My idea is that I want to create a universe for this world I am creating it.

The concept I was is inspired by The Elder Scroll series. In each game you play The Elder Scrolls (Arena, Daggerfall, Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim and Elder Scroll Online), you play in different time eras but the same universe.. That's what I want. In the future, I would like to create a whole different story that can take place in a different year in Terrania (Name of the planet).

 

[Jiriki9]

The general plot is well as an opener, I think. I personally would maybe change some names, especially "arcanists" and "divinists", which sounds a bit cold and somewhat scientific.

 

[GYIYGABITE]

The general plot is well as an opener, I think. I personally would maybe change some names, especially "arcanists" and "divinists", which sounds a bit cold and somewhat scientific.

Hmmm....I never thought about that. Although I have to admit; I've been thinking of a unique name for those terms but I just can't find a unique name. On a side note, the story is not set in stone. What I´m doing is making a story draft map on excel on how the story unfolds before I even start creating the events on RPG Maker MV.

Can you imagine? Halfway creating the game and all of a sudden you have to go through EVERY event for that specific word and change it?

Apart from those two, what other words where you referring to change?

 

[Mysiath]

I'm curious about why SCALES led the attack on the divinists for discovering... or before they discover the secret to immortality. Let me say this again; Immortality. Or is this something like mortals shouldn't be immortal... or whatever. I'm just thinking there definitely should be a group that desired immortality and sought to kidnap divinists.

Divinists... I'm not so sure of the name. Mostly because to me divine is...divine I'pose. Godly. Eternal. Power that of the Gods. I've read too much stories that have the elements of deities, gods and the like.

If you were to look for a unique magic or energy type then I would either recommend a generator or take a couple of hours and just brainstorm.

What does AE stand for? What time is that? After...?

Although this is very interesting so far and definitely caught my attention. I will be keeping my eye on this.

 

[Jiriki9]

Hmmm....I never thought about that. Although I have to admit; I've been thinking of a unique name for those terms but I just can't find a unique name. On a side note, the story is not set in stone. What I´m doing is making a story draft map on excel on how the story unfolds before I even start creating the events on RPG Maker MV.

Can you imagine? Halfway creating the game and all of a sudden you have to go through EVERY event for that specific word and change it?

Apart from those two, what other words where you referring to change?

Well, names are quite hard, imo, and really depend on the setting and on the style of the game. There are simple solutions like colors (Black and White or Blue and Red mages, for example). Another option is to take classical spellcaster names and assign them: Like Wizards for Arcanists and Sorcerors for Divinists. Both are not that unique, of course. A bit less obvious is going for foreign languages, most often I think writers borrow from Latin. In your case, you could for example use Carmeans for the arcanists (carmen=spell in latin) and/or Caelibri (from caelestis for heavenly and liberi for children). It might also be possible to combine the methods, for example goe for the Ruberi for one and Caerulea(n) for the other (meaning red and blue). Just ideas that popped into my mind which are less scientific. Of course there always is the way to make names up freely. Like you could name arcanists "the Opheril" and divinists "the Jubara". But if names have a secret meaning, or are an allusion somehow, I think they are more interesting.

I'm curious about why SCALES led the attack on the divinists for discovering... or before they discover the secret to immortality. Let me say this again; Immortality. Or is this something like mortals shouldn't be immortal... or whatever.

Gyiygabyte said they believed it to disrupt the order of life and death. I agree with you however that there'd definitely be groups with different goals in mind.

 

[Mysiath]

Gyiygabyte said they believed it to disrupt the order of life and death. I agree with you however that there'd definitely be groups with different goals in mind.

Ah, thank you. I didn't notice that before :o

I will agree that something like that would disrupt the order of life and death.

I will now add something more to my previous questions.

Divine - The power to heal and protect and SCALES had the belief that they could preserve and maintain life. Okay. I understand that. Now my question is why aren't the divinists highly sought after, protected and all that jazz? Let's imagine that there's a king in this... now that king has a sick daughter nearing death... the king has heard of divinists... I would think the king would have no trouble emptying half the cities treasuries or his own vaults(whatever) to pay or reward the divinist for healing his daughter.

And if the king were to find out that some group were after the divinists and hunting them when a divinist could save his daughters' life then I think that king would have no problem placing bounties with unimaginable rewards for bringing him the heads of SCALES' members.

I hope you understand what I meant here, and I hope I didn't talk out of my ass because my mind is muddled with wake-up morning disease. Needs more coffee.

 

[GYIYGABITE]

Well, names are quite hard, imo, and really depend on the setting and on the style of the game. There are simple solutions like colors (Black and White or Blue and Red mages, for example). Another option is to take classical spellcaster names and assign them: Like Wizards for Arcanists and Sorcerors for Divinists. Both are not that unique, of course. A bit less obvious is going for foreign languages, most often I think writers borrow from Latin. In your case, you could for example use Carmeans for the arcanists (carmen=spell in latin) and/or Caelibri (from caelestis for heavenly and liberi for children). It might also be possible to combine the methods, for example goe for the Ruberi for one and Caerulea(n) for the other (meaning red and blue). Just ideas that popped into my mind which are less scientific. Of course there always is the way to make names up freely. Like you could name arcanists "the Opheril" and divinists "the Jubara". But if names have a secret meaning, or are an allusion somehow, I think they are more interesting.



Gyiygabyte said they believed it to disrupt the order of life and death. I agree with you however that there'd definitely be groups with different goals in mind.

You sir, are a genius! I never thought about that. Plus, I like the names you brought up. Carmeans and Caelibris! Love it! I think I'll stick to that.

I'm curious about why SCALES led the attack on the divinists for discovering... or before they discover the secret to immortality. Let me say this again; Immortality. Or is this something like mortals shouldn't be immortal... or whatever. I'm just thinking there definitely should be a group that desired immortality and sought to kidnap divinists.


Divinists... I'm not so sure of the name. Mostly because to me divine is...divine I'pose. Godly. Eternal. Power that of the Gods. I've read too much stories that have the elements of deities, gods and the like.


If you were to look for a unique magic or energy type then I would either recommend a generator or take a couple of hours and just brainstorm.


What does AE stand for? What time is that? After...?


Although this is very interesting so far and definitely caught my attention. I will be keeping my eye on this.

AE Stands for After Exile. Year zero being when the gods left Terrania. I don't want to spoil the plot a lot, but I can promise you that the game will explain why the gods decided to exile themselves from their own planet they created.

Also, the outline also describes the aftermath after the Divine Purge (Might change the event to The Caelibri Purge). Various cities are accepting and will take the divine casters as refuge and offer protection. However, almost all the divine users are to scared to reveal themselves and their numbers are dwindling.

Remember: SCALES has a belief that was never proven true or lack of evidence: Divine users either know the secrets to eternal life, or are discovering it pretty soon. SCALES believe in the balance of life and death. the scales can't be tipped.

Like I said, I don't want to go into HUGE details but the idea here is that there are ulterior motives to why these events occur.

 

[Jiriki9]

I'm glad you liked my ideas. :)

 

[iblamevictoria]

Maybe shorten that name down to Soulprism. The current name is kind of a mouthful and a TON of games have used "chronicles" as a suffix. Also Terrania looks a little like Terraria. But that's not a major quarrel since it's a pretty clever prefix to slap onto the name of a fantasy planet/world. Looks good other than that though.

 

[GYIYGABITE]

Maybe shorten that name down to Soulprism. The current name is kind of a mouthful and a TON of games have used "chronicles" as a suffix. Also Terrania looks a little like Terraria. But that's not a major quarrel since it's a pretty clever prefix to slap onto the name of a fantasy planet/world. Looks good other than that though.

Good point there. Honestly, I was thinking of just dropping the "Teraania Chronicles" and just name it "Soulprism." since yesterday. As for the name of the planet, Terrania might work. However, I was thinking of a different planet name. Hmm....

 

[Lore]

Good point there. Honestly, I was thinking of just dropping the "Teraania Chronicles" and just name it "Soulprism." since yesterday. As for the name of the planet, Terrania might work. However, I was thinking of a different planet name. Hmm....

I am highly intrigued as to where this goes. #hype

Just in relation to the planet name, if you wanted to keep the "Terra" idea, why not manipulate the word a bit. Words like Teros, Arrat, Tirra, Retra, etc. could work. Additionally, you could always look synonyms for Terra or Earth (same with Arcanists/Divinists) if you wanted other words for the same thing.

 

[GYIYGABITE]

I am highly intrigued as to where this goes. #hype

Just in relation to the planet name, if you wanted to keep the "Terra" idea, why not manipulate the word a bit. Words like Teros, Arrat, Tirra, Retra, etc. could work. Additionally, you could always look synonyms for Terra or Earth (same with Arcanists/Divinists) if you wanted other words for the same thing.

Uh oh, looks like I created a hype. Now to live up to it. I want to thank everyone for their amazing feedback. I edited the story on the post. Feel free to give your suggestions. I'm interested in hearing your ideas.

As always, be passionate about what you love doing and thank you very much. Continue to provide feedback and support each other.