Complex Feelings

[Bizarre Monkey]

Someone asked me recently which gender I most identified with.

I couldn't find the words with which to answer...

But my thoughts are now collected. To be frank, I think I've been in the 'it' category for a while. I don't mind what pronoun is used, such trivial details aren't any of my concern. I have better things to do than worry about my social label.

It has nothing to do with my appearance. I feel completely alienated by not males, females, or w/e.

Rather... I feel alienated towards humans and their "society" as a whole. I don't identify with anything conceived, and wouldn't want to.

I am only me.

If I was given near absolute power (Think Dr Manhattan, but without the personal omniscience.), what would I do? This is the question I have to ask myself.

N o t h i n g .

I would watch them die, I would watch them cry, I would watch humanity envelop itself in its own doom.

Playing God only sound entertaining on a very personal level.

Why destroy what is already doomed?

There's something more cathartic about letting it all happen, knowing due to absolution, I'd be the only one spared.

I could definitely, with that power, make everything better.

But why?

Why assert myself as the new highest power?

Let fossil fuels burn the world.

Let corporate fatcats learn their lessons too late.

It's not as if I couldn't bring it all back.

Would I? Yes. Probably.

Maybe entirely rid greenhouse gases from the world, and destabilize the fossil fuel economy.

All coal... to sand.
All oil, now water.
All uranium, now dirt.
All nukes, entirely useless.

But the world would refuse to change.

Because all of the above, they are fueled by the biggest motivators of all.

Greed, money, power.

I could change almost anything.

But not human nature.

It would get boring very fast.

Watching them all repeat the same mistakes.

Dooming themselves again and again.

The only alterations I could make would be too see just how long I can make this game fun.

Absolute power... boring.

Humanity's charming stupidity is its only redeemable quality.

People say I have a bleak outlook.

They have themselves to thank.

 

[Macro]

I am only me.

Wise words. I am me as well. I believe as long as one is happy with oneself that's all that matters. And of course health, and making cash to live a decent life. That's all I focus on anyway. Socially if someone is my friend, cool, if not, oh well. People come and go, but I will always be myself and always have myself.

 

[Alcha Emy]

Cannot...somprehend...such serious thoughts! *Brain implodes* @_@

Norman: Curious worlds my fellow. It has always been an interesting riddle when you think about it. The thought of absolout power, being able to do whatever you want. In truth yes, the majority of humanity is for the lack of a better word, incompetent. But I find that those flaws are an unfortunate bi product of the very thing we are speaking of, wanting power. Because we saught an easier life, and one that we can better control it has come to a point that seems bleek for humanity's future but I feel that giving up and simply watching them destroy themselves is almost as bad as being part of the destruction yourself. It takes one voice to start a revolution my friend and I am confident that one day someone will be that person. I'd do it myself but sadly I am a fictional character much like lady Alcha.

 

[Bizarre Monkey]

@Alchemy: Well the desperation from seeking higher glory without the effort is sometimes amusing, which is why I lamented that human stupidity is humanity's one redeemable quality.

Nothing good comes easy, as Dr Kelso said, and while Dr Kelso is a 90 year old senile sinister-natured sociopath who might have been Beelzebub himself in a mortal shell, he's damn right about one thing. And it's exactly that.

I sure would feel empty with anything close to absolute power, because problems and hurdles are what make life that it is.

@Macro: That's me in a nutshell, how can I enjoy the company of others if I don't enjoy my own company? That's the simple and basic logic, inner tranquility and self-pride are two very defining factors of happiness.

Does that make me a narcissist? Hmm, maybe! But I'm happy, and it's hardly in anyone's interests to judge me if they are also happy. The large thing that drives the insipid hatred towards narcissism is largely those like me, but who take it too far, and those envious of the joy others have found.

That's a very baseline explanation of narcissism and expressional judgement against it, but I don't think I really need to go into that.